So lets start with Friday night shall we?
A couple of weeks ago I signed us up for Marriage Mentors at church thinking it was a bible study, well turns out it's one on one mentoring. Friday night our mentors came over for pizza. I was a little apprehensive since Darrell and I just started to get back into church and I really wanted this to be natural. Lucky for us they were not bible beaters and we got along just swimmingly! They also have two kids; 3 yr and 15 month old girls. They've been married for six years and gave us some great advice on how to fight fairly. Not sure how or why they decided to advise on that subject?!? ;)
Want to know what their tips were? I think I'll share...
So here's how it goes, Partner #1 is upset so they ask partner #2 if they have any withholds. If anything has been bothering #2 then they get an opportunity to bring it up. #2 would say what's wrong and how it makes them feel (because feelings can't be wrong!). Then #1 has to say thank you for telling me and then you break for thirty minutes to process. When thirty minutes is up you get back together to talk about #2's issue and then #1 gets a chance to bring up their issue and follow the same process. Most of the time just saying thank you for telling me and taking a 30 min break is all it takes, if not and it's a big issue then you use a talking stick, giving the person with the stick the floor meaning the other cannot interrupt.
For the past 3 days it had worked out brilliantly! ha. Seriously though, things have been good, real good. But I think that mostly has to do with the fact that Darrell did not pitch a fit when I told him that I signed us up and went along with it all pretty willingly. Knowing that we both care about the marriage and want to be as happy as possible made for a pretty nice Valentine's Day.
Our second assignment was to tell the other person 5 things that we wish they would do to show affection. Being that the following day was Valentine's Day I decided that that conversation could wait and we should share the 5 things that the other does that we love. We talked about the first three on Saturday night over dinner, which I will tell you about tomorrow, stay tuned!
Here are pics of the cutie patooties in their Valentine's Day outfit (Gifts from Aunt Lara and Grammie.)
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| 09.02.13 Valentine's DAy |
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